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I've Got Something To Say

by Simon Panrucker

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1.
I've got something to say I've got something to say I've got something to say So listen up right here Listen up right now I've got something to say I'm gonna say it real loud I've got something to say I ain't gonna hold back 'Cause it's a thing worth saying And that's that's that's that So listen up right now Listen up right here I've got something to say It's going in your ear I'm gonna say it right now I'm gonna say it right now I'm gonna say it right now I'm gonna say it right now I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it Right now right now right now Uh... Umm... What was it.... I've got nothing to say I've got nothing to say I've got nothing to say I've got nothing to say I thought I did back there I didn't mean to tell lies I've got nothing to say I apologise
2.
Udon noodles Goose, fondue Custard, mustard Tiramisu Goulash, tabouli Ham hock, halloumi Fillet, filo, roti Sweet potato Strudel, moussaka Baclava, cashew nut Mushroom, plum pickle Sticky toffee, coffee cake Focaccia, gazpacho soup Shish kebab, cous cous Chartreuse, amuse bouche Alfafa, farfalle Falafal, fajita Burrito, Cheeto Asafoetida Tuna fish, lamb bunha Fritatta Pitta, fritter Quinoa, pasata Tuna fish, lamb bunha Fritatta Pitta, fritter Quinoa, pasata Peaches, sushi Cheese, chorizo Ceviche, kimchi Chimi churri Cappuccino Haricot bean, maraschino Zuchinni Jalapeno Eat your words Eat your words Umami Savour every syllable like each is a salami Eat your words Eat your words Umami Pepper every paragraph with pieces of pastrami Chicken chow mein Chicken chimmi changa Chicken jalfrezi Chicken pasanda Salsa, shakshouka Sloppy giuseppe Salami, celeriac Salt, spaghetti Flapjack, bibimbap Macaroni Cookie dough, marshmallow Marscapone Borscht Pulled pork Raw Horse Beef Stroganoff Beef Wellington Eat your words Eat your words Umami Savour every syllable like each is a salami Eat your words Eat your words Umami Pepper every paragraph with pieces of pastrami Jambalaya, paella Shrimp Creme fraiche Walnut whip Bubble and squeak Toad in the hole Rumbledethumps Guacamole Artichoke, cardamom Popsicle, Green bean, aubergine Wiener shnitzel Rum baba, banana Baba ganoush Pumpernickel, pickapepper Pamplemousse Sauerkraut, marzipan Frankfurter Peanut butter Yarg Eat your words Eat your words Umami Savour every syllable like each is a salami Eat your words Eat your words Umami Pepper every paragraph with pieces of pastrami Pino noir, blancmange Mange tous, croissant Creme brulee, souffle Far Breton Pain au chocolat Macarons, madelein Quiche Lorraine, quatre-quart Tart Tatin Crepe, baguette Oreillette, raclette Bœuf bourguignon Saucisson, tartiflette Gruyere gougeres Glace Plombières Pomme du terre Eat your words Eat your words Umami Savour every syllable like each is a salami Eat your words Eat your words Umami Pepper every paragraph with pieces of pastrami Rum baba, banana Baba ganoush Pumpernickel, pickapepper Pamplemousse Jam Ham Flan Clam Spam
3.
Fussy Eater 03:15
Hello I’m a werewolf Didn’t mean to scare you It’s just I’m having trouble finding Someone to prepare food Fit for a furry fellow feeling fairly fussy Coz many edibles make my delicate belly puffy I’ve been to the doctor but lost at the start Coz he tried to prescribe me a silver bullet to the heart That’s the last time I go private... I’m annoyed Coz I can’t attack a snack that I can actually enjoy I don’t eat humans I don’t eat cats I don’t eat this and I won’t eat that I don’t eat anything that isn’t fair trade Hand made, with egg free mayonnaise I will drink bat milk if it’s made from peas I’ll eat the body of christ if it's gluten free I like oatcake mimosas, a cheeky blend But I won’t eat soya coz of the oestrogen I don’t feel great, my tummy aches It’s been a long time since I last ate I’ve got specific dietary needs I don’t eat meat, respectfully Do you know if this was produced ethically I’m worried I might die before I eat [AS HUMAN] But when I am a human, I eat what I like Make it dripping with grease please, and pile it high Big mac, mac n cheese, Double big king In a KFC bucket with an albatross wing Raw slabs of beef, it’s a meat sensation I like it better if it leads to deforestation I eat crustaceans if they’re dripping with cheese I drink palm oil pepsi, I hate chimpanzees I like stacks of chicks fried alive and dipped In mayonnaise from their unborn brother and sister I’m mister fancy when I eat giraffe I eat protected species but just for a laugh I climb into the carcass to eat my spuds And wash it down with a nice fresh pint of blood I feel gassy, fetch me a pasty I eat what I like and I like it nasty [AS WEREWOLF] But my body is a temple I treat it with respect And respect the life of everything that hasn’t died yet I’d only eat fruit that's fallen from its own weight If I wasn’t so concerned about the sugar intake I eat field mushrooms that are foraged by a mouse That’s allowed to live with all its friends inside an eco house And it’s been a fair while since I’ve had an avocado Coz of air miles I don’t feel great, my tummy aches It’s been a long time since I last ate I’ve got specific dietary needs I don’t eat meat, respectfully Do you know if this was produced ethically I’m worried I might die before I eat [AS HUMAN] Get a squid and shove it up a duck Deep fry it and chuck it in a vat of kebab meat and bring it to me NOW! And get me a napkin, I’m not an animal.
4.
Hey everybody there’s a hot new style It’s worth your while but it’s not for the mild Fresh fashion with a fun little twist Easy to grasp just get the gist Two things down low, one thing in the middle Nothing up top just keep it simple Follow my steps, you’ll be ready in a moment All it takes is two key components Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers When the day starts it doesn’t take much To pop on my crocs then strut my stuff Eff the haters, they just don’t know me Style is sacred, my footwear’s holey It should be criminal to look this hot Cops, come and try to snatch my crocs Trousers are lousy, shoes are for losers, Everybody makes a choice and I choose this Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers Crocs and boxers There's only one way to improve this look Crocs and socks and boxers Yeah
5.
Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done I made a list That I can tick I took a long time Deciding which colours to pick There's videos That you can watch About being productive And I watch lots and lots and lots Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done I made a system To get organised I keep redesigning it So I can get it just right Just right, not quite I have a friend [Hello?] That I call each day [Let's check in] To keep each other accountable [I haven't done it] Plus it's just nice to say hey hey hey all day There's only one thing I like more than getting things done And that's talking about how much I'm gonna get done Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done Getting things done Getting things done Being productive Getting things done Getting things done Getting things done Just singing about How much I'm gonna get done
6.
Do you like jokes? They are very funny Do you like laughing? It is very funny I like jokes I like laughing Here are my favourite jokes Why shouldn't you accept cheques from kangaroos? They always bounce What do you call a singer with really long arms? Lindsay Low-Hands Who both sings and is the sweetest thing? Bonbon Bono What does Aslan do all day? Narnia business Ha ha Ha ha ha Guhuhuh tuhuhuh Hahaha ha Ooh hoo hoo hoo Ooh now stop it Hghthh thghhh That's very funny Ha ha Ha ha ha Guhuhuh tuhuhuh Hahaha ha Ooh hoo hoo hoo Ooh now stop it Hghthh thghhh That's very funny Why do mountains ruin surprises? They always peak What do you shout when you successfully strain your curds? Whey What do you call an old lady with 88 keys? Gran Piano Which singer weally weally wikes wailways? Shania Twain [Instrumental] Oh Ha ha Ha ha ha Guhuhuh tuhuhuh Hahaha ha Ooh hoo hoo hoo Ooh now stop it Hghthh thghhh That's very funny Ha ha Ha ha ha Guhuhuh tuhuhuh Hahaha ha Ooh hoo hoo hoo Ooh now stop it Hghthh thghhh That's very funny
7.
Face frowns when the bass sound pounds In the subs down low bounce booty on the dance floor Treble up top, snap crackle and pop Smack hands for the claps while the hi hats rock Stop that nonsense bass is the bomb Sense jelly in your belly from the big bass monster Treble is important for all kinds of interest Rhythmic ornaments and choruses of insects Buh buh buh Buh buh buh buh Buh buh buh Buh buh buh BASS Tre tre tre Tre tre tre tre Tre tre tre Tre tre tre TREBLE I’m the big fat bap when you bake your bread Make your face scrunch up as you shake your head I glisten and I whistle, if you listen for me I’ll tell you when it’s high time for a nice hot tea Bass vibrations shake things down Sneak from the speakers deep under ground I'm tickling your ear drums, trickle non stop Little sweet things leak from the tweeters up top Buh buh buh Buh buh buh buh Buh buh buh Buh buh buh BASS Tre tre tre Tre tre tre tre Tre tre tre Tre tre tre TREBLE I've got my voice down low I've got my voice down low I've got my voice up high I've got my voice up high I've got my voice down low I've got my voice down low I've got my voice up high I've got my voice up high Come on Buh buh buh Buh buh buh buh Buh buh buh Buh buh buh BASS Tre tre tre Tre tre tre tre Tre tre tre Tre tre tre TREBLE Don't forget the midrange Thanks
8.
The Tang 01:49
When I get low and I feel so flat I know there’s a fruit that can remedy that It’s lemony in shape and lemony in colour A citrus fruit that’s fresher than the others Alphabetically it’s a muddled up melon That’s right, I’m talking about lemons Go to the fruit bowl pick a fresh one Then squeeze that sucker right on my tongue Oooh can you feel that taste Lemony tang freakin’ up my face Eyes like “whoa!” Mouth gone small Lips tight like a little cat’s bumhole Oooh can you feel that taste Lemony tang freakin’ up my face Eyes like “whoa” mouth gone small Scrunched up like a cold testicle Mmm that’s nice, I feel refreshed There’s a lemony zest pepping up my breath My lips are lively, my tongue’s a tingle I want to double drop, why stop at a single? I take a fresh lemon in both my hands And tell my taste buds prepare to get slammed Cos I’ll be damned if I can’t taste the tang The flavour bomb drops, tick tock kablam Oooh can you feel that taste Lemony tang freakin’ up my face Eyes like “whoa” mouth gone small Lips tight like a little cat’s bumhole Oooh can you feel that taste Lemony tang freakin’ up my face Eyes like “whoa!” Mouth gone small Scrunched up cold testicle Gosh dang, gosh dang Face vortex as I taste the tang It takes more pips than a peeled orange To eat lemon meringue but sans meringue
9.
I don’t wanna make a fuss about nothing I don’t wanna be the boy who cried wolf No I don’t wanna be that guy Who makes up dramas all the time I’m just a bit concerned about my health [COUGHING] I don’t wanna be a burden to no one [COUGHING] I don’t wanna be a thorn in your side [COUGHING] I don’t wanna overblow But I think maybe you should know That I’ve just lost the use of both my eyes [Oh god!] I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine It's probably nothing to worry about Lalalala la lala lala lala [GRUNTING IN PAIN] Lalalala la lala lala la [MOANING IN AGONY] Lalalala la lala [Oh I think I just poo'd myself] I don’t wanna make a load of excuses [agh, my spleen!] I don’t wanna take up all of your time [I think it's exploded] No I don’t wanna make a fuss But I think I’m losing lots of blood And I can’t feel a thing below my spine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine [COLLAPSES] [Instrumental] [DEATHLY GARGLE] It's probably nothing to worry about
10.
Everything’s covered in poo Everything’s covered in poo and wee and puke All kinds of goop Everything’s covered in puke Everything’s covered in puke and wee and poo All kinds of goo But it doesn’t all come from me no more No it doesn’t all come from me Cos I got a baby Yeah I got a baby No it doesn’t all come from me no more All the poo and the puke and the wee no more Uh uh Cos I got a baby Yeah I got a baby A non stop tinkler A human sprinker A poo poo tardis An expressive artist A decorator That you wouldn’t pay for It’s like that one bit From the exorcist ‘Cause everything’s covered in poo Everything’s covered in poo and wee and puke All kinds of goop Everything’s covered in puke Everything’s covered in puke and wee and poo All kinds of goo But it doesn’t all come from me no more All the poo and the puke and the wee no more Uh uh Cos I got a baby So it’s all gravy
11.
Unicornichon 02:43
I went to a party the other day There were several snacks on a silver tray There were things that looked like cucumbers Like pickled gherkins but miniature I said “I’ve never come across one of these before” She said “Why don’t you try one? there’s plenty more” I said “Maybe… but I not until I know what they are” She said “I can’t pronounce it but here’s the jar” I looked at the word that was printed on The tiny green things were “Cornichons” “Fancy stuff”, I said, “Well,” she said “When I throw a party I spare no expense” I took a little prong and carefully aimed At the cornichon that seemed to call my name The cocktail stick went swiftly through But in my exuberance it snapped in two I stopped and gasped For a miracle had come just to pass The stick had made a horn Like a gherkin version of a unicorn It was a Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn The cornichon floated off the tray And did a vinegary whinny, a pickly neigh I reached out to the mini mythical creature It looked scared so I said “I won’t eat ya” It came close so I stroked it sweetly It felt bumpy and it sounded squeaky It liked it! Before too long The unicornichon sang an awesome song! Like this! [UNICORNICHON SOLO] I pursed my lips And gave the unicornichon a gentle kiss It tasted nice I knew this pickly pal would be my friend for life! It was a Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn! Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn Unicornichon Tiny gherkin with a horn! Unicornichon on the pickle-o! [UNICORNICHON SOLO] [CRUNCHING AND EATING NOISES] I'm so sorry! Mmm yum I'll miss you So tasty

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A bunch of nonsense to brighten your day! x

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released April 7, 2023

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Simon Panrucker Bristol, UK

Simon writes music for FUN (his and yours).

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